View Full Version : Humor & Jokes


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  1. Promise me not to laugh
  2. Tiger Woods
  3. I Truly Did Not Know This!!
  4. Why did you laugh?
  5. I'm gonna break it in half!
  6. EPIC FAIL
  7. Kids on Marriage
  8. Company Circular Joke
  9. Application to Date my Daughter
  10. Tornado Rips Through Graveyard
  11. Jokes
  12. Worst Joke in mankind history
  13. Daily Random Jokes
  14. [Random Joke] Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He woul
  15. [Random Joke] Einstein dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter says, "You look like Einstein,
  16. [Random Joke] A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When
  17. [Random Joke] One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding.
  18. [Random Joke] An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a ca
  19. [Random Joke] A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the s
  20. [Random Joke] With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs ori
  21. [Random Joke] At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at le
  22. [Random Joke] Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't... 10. Nuts...my shaft is
  23. [Random Joke] Two boys were playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by
  24. [Random Joke] My husband and I were in the car heading home from a weekend trip out of town
  25. [Random Joke] A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by
  26. [Random Joke] One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the s
  27. [Random Joke] A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home.
  28. [Random Joke] A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
  29. R kelly
  30. [Random Joke] Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their
  31. [Random Joke] Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend,"
  32. [Random Joke] A teacher comes into the class room and there is a red apple with the letter
  33. [Random Joke] Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if a
  34. [Random Joke] A man on a construction site 30 floors up had to go to the bathroom. He ap
  35. [Random Joke] The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife
  36. [Random Joke] One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy hi
  37. [Random Joke] A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a
  38. [Random Joke] A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.
  39. [Random Joke] It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot.
  40. [Random Joke] Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the l
  41. [Random Joke] It was the first day of school, and a new student, the son of a Japanese b
  42. [Random Joke] There was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people alw
  43. [Random Joke] Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House, Al Gore was e
  44. [Random Joke] At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the comput
  45. [Random Joke] These are actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes inclu
  46. [Random Joke] Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Sala
  47. [Random Joke] A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to l
  48. [Random Joke] A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the hi
  49. [Random Joke] A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down
  50. [Random Joke] A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't s
  51. [Random Joke] There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons w
  52. [Random Joke] A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hol
  53. [Random Joke] A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and having been told that
  54. [Random Joke] A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich and the barte
  55. [Random Joke] One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam th
  56. [Random Joke] My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out, What used to be my sex app
  57. [Random Joke] A guy walks into a bar and notices he's the only one there, apart from the
  58. [Random Joke] It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they
  59. [Random Joke] Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and was eager to help
  60. [Random Joke] The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to
  61. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay
  62. [Random Joke] A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a
  63. [Random Joke] An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behi
  64. [Random Joke] Johnny and Kip were playing hockey at Forest Park skating rink. Suddenly
  65. [Random Joke] SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACT
  66. [Random Joke] Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging ou
  67. [Random Joke] It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student nam
  68. [Random Joke] A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces heig
  69. [Random Joke] In the good old days of the golden oldies, most records were sold on the D
  70. [Random Joke] An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents wer
  71. [Random Joke] What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite. What do blondes and
  72. [Random Joke] A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed
  73. [Random Joke] A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. W
  74. [Random Joke] Three couples wanted to be admitted into a new church. One was an elderly cou
  75. [Random Joke] Why you don't want a tsundere girlfriend in real life
  76. [Random Joke] 10. The church bus has gun racks. 9. The church staff consists of Senior
  77. [Random Joke] An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a
  78. [Random Joke] Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the dee
  79. [Random Joke] A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
  80. [Random Joke] A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a
  81. [Random Joke] Why do rappers carry umbrellas?
  82. [Random Joke] A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Al
  83. [Random Joke] In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it's mo
  84. [Random Joke] At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of si
  85. [Random Joke] Once upon a time, there was a nonconformist sparrow who decided to not fly
  86. [Random Joke] A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the
  87. [Random Joke] There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of frien
  88. [Random Joke] Outside a chemist in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for d
  89. [Random Joke] One day an elderly man decided that since he had never fathered any children
  90. [Random Joke] Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the
  91. [Random Joke] An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months toge
  92. [Random Joke] Old man sitting on his front porch in Louisiana watching the sunrise sees the
  93. [Random Joke] Little Johnny was walking down the beach, and he spied a matronly woman si
  94. [Random Joke] A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by
  95. [Random Joke] A man and a woman had been dating for about a year, and their relationship wa
  96. [Random Joke] Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was misse
  97. [Random Joke] 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambul
  98. [Random Joke] A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She e
  99. [Random Joke] President George W. Bush was going to a Home Depot. He was surrounded by his
  100. [Random Joke] Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business Sign?
  101. [Random Joke] A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Listen," he says to the barte
  102. [Random Joke] This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a seclude
  103. [Random Joke] A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers
  104. [Random Joke] "I'm in love with my horse," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist. "No
  105. [Random Joke] A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the fron
  106. [Random Joke] One day a boy approached his mother with a question. "Mom, how come every
  107. [Random Joke] There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt,
  108. [Random Joke] An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one
  109. [Random Joke] When Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he said "One small step for man
  110. [Random Joke] There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave
  111. [Random Joke] Sayings That Should Be On Those Office Inspirational Posters: If you can stay
  112. [Random Joke] A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's se
  113. [Random Joke] TO: ALL EMPLOYEES SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY SICKNESS: No excuse...We will no
  114. [Random Joke] One day a farmer decided that he wanted to expand his chicken farming. In
  115. [Random Joke] A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the hous
  116. [Random Joke] A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their look
  117. [Random Joke] Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the pl
  118. [Random Joke] Robert goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home three hour
  119. [Random Joke] A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She
  120. [Random Joke] "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental defi
  121. [Random Joke] A man dies and due to his evil and sinful life, goes to hell. The devil hi
  122. [Random Joke] Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for
  123. [Random Joke] President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his
  124. [Random Joke] The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received
  125. [Random Joke] Paddy and Murphy are knocking back a few pints of Guinness at the local pub a
  126. [Random Joke] As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on t
  127. [Random Joke] Dave works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends mos
  128. [Random Joke] A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city par
  129. [Random Joke] Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under th
  130. [Random Joke] The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words.
  131. [Random Joke] 10 It's Legal To Play Hockey Proffesionally 9 The Puck Is Always Hard 8
  132. [Random Joke] A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I g
  133. [Random Joke] A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical mal
  134. [Random Joke] A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits
  135. [Random Joke] "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fish
  136. [Random Joke] One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some mon
  137. [Random Joke] A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill
  138. [Random Joke] A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one
  139. [Random Joke] Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buc
  140. [Random Joke] After years of his wife's pleading, this good ol boy finally goes with her
  141. [Random Joke] A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate
  142. [Random Joke] 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club
  143. [Random Joke] During a neighborhood party, Joe got into an argument with his neighbor, abou
  144. [Random Joke] A guy has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. Afte
  145. [Random Joke] A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The
  146. [Random Joke] The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman ju
  147. [Random Joke] A husband and wife were screwing up a storm. Afterward, the husband headed
  148. [Random Joke] A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restauran
  149. [Random Joke] There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, lookin
  150. [Random Joke] Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you
  151. [Random Joke] At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at le
  152. [Random Joke] A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.
  153. [Random Joke] A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While ther
  154. [Random Joke] George was a bad loser. When he was cleaned out in a poker game for very high
  155. [Random Joke] You Know You're In Trouble When ... ... Your accountants letter of resignati
  156. [Random Joke] A man walks into a bar one night and asks for 3 drinks. The bartender asks
  157. [Random Joke] A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to
  158. [Random Joke] The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager screwing his
  159. [Random Joke] Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and baby stork. The
  160. [Random Joke] A little boy hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what
  161. [Random Joke] Two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they
  162. [Random Joke] ...man who run in front of car get tired. ..man who run behind car get
  163. [Random Joke] Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room, ther
  164. [Random Joke] An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been
  165. [Random Joke] Ehe Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa, when th
  166. [Random Joke] There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car. So, he went to
  167. [Random Joke] A news story said the police caught a guy trying to cash a phony check and to
  168. [Random Joke] A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the p
  169. [Random Joke] A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She hate
  170. [Random Joke] A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm. The pl
  171. [Random Joke] Jon was looking for a little "action." He picked up a sweet young thing at
  172. [Random Joke] Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically t
  173. [Random Joke] Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said
  174. [Random Joke] A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a wom
  175. [Random Joke] A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Short
  176. [Random Joke] A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable
  177. [Random Joke] Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely'
  178. [Random Joke] A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber and asks h
  179. [Random Joke] A panda walks into a pub and sits down for a drink. While he's downing his
  180. [Random Joke] Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there i
  181. IKEA Walkthrough
  182. [Random Joke] An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor'
  183. [Random Joke] Why did the chicken cross the road?: PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a
  184. [Random Joke] A lady walks into a tattoo parlor and asks the artist if she can get two tatt
  185. [Random Joke] A software engineer, hardware engineer, and departmental manager were on thei
  186. [Random Joke] Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, prec
  187. [Random Joke] A gay man was driving his sports car around the corner, when an eighteen-w
  188. [Random Joke] As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mo
  189. [Random Joke] One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his ann
  190. [Random Joke] A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive a
  191. [Random Joke] A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and having been told that
  192. [Random Joke] A trumpeter is hired to play two solos in a movie. After the sessions he i
  193. [Random Joke] Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the wor
  194. [Random Joke] A regular walks into a bar, looking blue. The bartender starts setting him
  195. [Random Joke] The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception co
  196. [Random Joke] Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. Durin
  197. [Random Joke] In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops
  198. [Random Joke] A first-grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child i
  199. [Random Joke] A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have si
  200. [Random Joke] 1. Blow out a huge depressed fart and blame it on the person next to you ou
  201. [Random Joke] Some reasons that it's great to be a guy: Phone conversations are over in 30 s
  202. [Random Joke] Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically throu
  203. [Random Joke] A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane.
  204. [Random Joke] HOW TO SAY, "I LOVE YOU" IN 20 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES: English . . . . . .
  205. [Random Joke] Prawns and sharks
  206. [Random Joke] Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are n
  207. [Random Joke] A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of
  208. [Random Joke] A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking
  209. [Random Joke] A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there
  210. [Random Joke] A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
  211. [Random Joke] 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk But the thing I like best
  212. [Random Joke] A Texan went to Chicago, where he thought he would buy a new "city" outfit.
  213. [Random Joke] Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk
  214. [Random Joke] 10. Your so-called "speed limits" mean nothing to me flatfoot. I live my li
  215. [Random Joke] A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing t
  216. [Random Joke] Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said,
  217. [Random Joke] One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his a
  218. [Random Joke] I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I notic
  219. [Random Joke] A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has
  220. [Random Joke] A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the ju
  221. [Random Joke] A priest at a parochial school, wanting to point out the proper behavior for c
  222. [Random Joke] A man walks into a country club, and asks to play a round of golf. The man
  223. [Random Joke] An Englishman, a Texan and a Polak are lost in the Nevada desert. After days w
  224. [Random Joke] The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with
  225. [Random Joke] A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition
  226. [Random Joke] There was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three
  227. [Random Joke] A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried i
  228. [Random Joke] A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle h
  229. [Random Joke] A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargeme
  230. [Random Joke] This Scottish farmer walks into the neighborhood pub, and orders a whiskey.
  231. [Random Joke] A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to g
  232. [Random Joke] A cowboy walks into a Saloon after he rode 150 miles on his horse in one day.
  233. [Random Joke] After watching a rather hot love scene on cable, the husband looked over at
  234. [Random Joke] A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the
  235. [Random Joke] A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable f
  236. [Random Joke] A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind o
  237. [Random Joke] A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time
  238. [Random Joke] The agent of a beautiful actress discovered one day that the actress had be
  239. [Random Joke] In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting li
  240. [Random Joke] Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super
  241. [Random Joke] A guy walks into a bar and notices he's the only one there, apart from the bar
  242. [Random Joke] A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching
  243. [Random Joke] She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham. She's been laid on
  244. [Random Joke] HOW TO SAY, "I LOVE YOU" IN 20 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES: English . . . . . . . .
  245. [Random Joke] A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've go
  246. [Random Joke] A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's stopped in
  247. [Random Joke] 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry,
  248. [Random Joke] A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to t
  249. [Random Joke] One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl,
  250. [Random Joke] Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet